Today is my son's first full day as 17-year-old

He drives now, is considering colleges or university next year. He had an internship as a successful salesman in Jakarta Fair July 2009 with Oxone kitchen utensils company for 1 month during his school vacation and is ready to have another great internship already lined up for his senior year. He’s also taller than me, which I still think he would be taller and more handsome.

Sometimes it is such a shock to see him walking into a room. I see him shaking hands and conversing comfortably with other adults and I have to remind myself: He is a man now.

It is a hard fact for a mother to accept. I still think of the toddler who fell asleep every night with a soft sponge and an airplane toy in each hand. I think of him, fresh from the bath, running around in Batman and Superman pajamas; and of him kissing his new baby sisters (he has 2 sisters) on the head when we brought them home from the hospital. (I also remember years later when I was pregnant with his little sister. He asked how the baby got in my stomach, and when I told him, I remember the happy look on his face. He often brought up the subject because he wants a younger brother.)

I remember his first day of school and him being shy and tense, and running up and down the school yard and small soccer field, not to mention falling down, singing at his elementary school graduation and earning assignments for taking care new students at the student camps and orientations, and little kids on the Vacation Bible School in his junior year.

But now he is at 17. I know I should be proud. I know this is exactly what I signed on to do when I got pregnant – raise a man or woman to be independent, responsible, mature and self-sufficient. But now, that the time is nearing when he’ll leave home one day, next year. I get teary and want to cling to every minute he is still here with us.

Happy birthday, Philip! We couldn’t be prouder of you. But please, take it easy on your older daddy and mom’s instant creativities and thoughts. Also don’t get tired with our life-lesson lectures. I want you to know that dad and I celebrate each of your accomplishment and step you take with you, but I wonder if I will ever be able to separate the little boy you were from the man you have become now (pardon me for this, son). So if I get teary sometimes for no reason or you catch me looking at you with a funny or strange expression, just know I’m doing my best to start letting go. Because I know you are ready.

Aug 26,2009